Boys

I was musing about being a mum of boys. Now not having even been a mum before with girls this is all new to me and I have nothing to compare it with and have no girls to change the family dynamic who are older so I wanted to share with you who have boys or your eldest are boys some of the wonderful joys of being a mum to boys.

Now I have heard boys called silly, daydreamy, lack concentration, appear to have selective hearing loss, a bit boisterous etc etc, and I know that in school scenarios this can be a problem when trying to deal with a class of pupils but I think often the wonderful qualities that boys possess can get overlooked.

They are the first to support someone and stand with them, for each other and someone who is their friend or even for injustice, they don’t hold grudges, they have an amazing sense of humour, they have boundless energy which makes outings wonderful and you don’t (certainly in my experience) get whining. They want to know about everything and how everything works, meaning you learn about and develop a fascination with them for the things around you. You learn that you can make lego into absolutely anything and that your imagination is only as small as you limit it to. That strength and kindness can exist in the same person, that you compete and lose and it’s OK, that there is an element of love and caring that you may never find in a female friend or relation, that men have a lot going on in their brains even though they don’t always communicate it (unlike us women :-) ) I’ve learned that there are a million ways to come down a slide and all accompanied by a smile, that there is joy in mud and cold when you’re kicking a football around a field, when a boy pushes himself and you see him succeed it’s an amazing feeling enough to make you cry. I’ve learnt that I am twice the person I was since I met them and my life is richer and more wonderful for knowing them. That actually I can learn a lot from cutting it short and not having to have the whole conversation some times. That running round a coffee table to music is a fabulous game with many variations and is never tiresome (certainly for littlies), that boys like messing with their hair just as much as girls, only you need gel!!!! and no bobbles!!! That if you give boys anything they can come up with a game you would never have thought of in a million years and they will spend hours playing. That there is huge pleasure in a toilet roll spaceship or a pop bottle rocket and these can be played with til they fall apart. That life should be enjoyed full on, full tilt, with your eyes wide open and your arms held out to embrace it and all its amazing turns.

My boys are just men in progress, and I love them very much. So for all of you mums who are told daily of the all the things boys aren’t,  remember they aren’t there yet, press on and you’ll get there, but remember to celebrate too the amazing differences that make our boys who they are. Sometimes we can squash boys so much that we loose the things that will make them men, now I’m not saying no discipline, let them run riot, allow them to do whatever they want and to shout all day, just that sometimes we need to remember that boys need to be allowed to be boys. It’s something God has been teaching me since the day Toby was born, it’s a learning curve for me having not been a boy myself. If you fancy reading up a bit more about what makes boys tick try reading Bringing up boys by James Dobson, he has some fabulous stuff to say about boys and who they are.